10.495.Manic Plans for World Domination

The La-Iin Series
Chapter 495
“Manic Plans for World Domination”

“Bes-Isa, how involved do you want to be when I rule the world?”
“I want to be autonomous and take your women slaves for myself. But that’s just me.”
La-Iin glared. “Aside from that?”
“Do you mean how much input I want to have? A lot, duh. I’m a better friend to you than that San-Kyung boy and yet you plan on instating him as your second-in-command. I don’t think that’s fair. And anyway, why are you asking me this?”
“Lately I’ve been thinking about my plans for world domination.”
“Aren’t you always?”
“They’re the only thing I’ve thought about every day for as long as I can remember. Not even Fer-Shi or San-Kyung has reached that point. Not even you.”
“Hey!”
“I’ve been searching for holes to patch up. I try to put as much time into thinking about it as possible so that I can have the ultimate plan when I finally get to rule the world. I’ve been studying what worked and what didn’t in the past. I’ve been looking for what has worked. And I’ve been trying to make sure my plans have no holes, but I find new ones all the time!”
“Like what? And didn’t you say you were searching for holes?”
“I’m searching for holes, but that doesn’t mean I like finding them,” La-Iin said. “And who said I would tell you about the holes I found?”
“I thought I was going to get to hear your awesome new plan for world domination. It’s not like I can blab it anyway. If I tried, you could just send me straight to sleep, simple as that.”
“That is a good point,” La-Iin mused. “Alright then. I won’t tell you the holes I found in my own plans, but I’m going to tell you some of the problems I have. And you can tell me a plan you think could work and I’ll tell you the holes in that plan.”
“This sounds too complicated. I’m going to sleep. Night.”
“It’s daytime,” La-Iin said bitterly.
“I’m well-aware.”
She scoffed. “Give me your plan.”
“Okay, what about if you become the leader of Vaelyn. The leader of Vaelyn may have restrictions, but she also has a lot of control over ALL Vaelyn. Well, except for the Northern part, anyway.”
“I’ll control them eventually. Go on.”
“You could probably easily cheat your way there, not to mention you’d have the genuine support of Fer-Shi, and maybe that woman and San-Kyung. Something tells me Sale-Dessu doesn’t care about who is the leader of Vaelyn.”
“I don’t either. Unless it’s me. Go on.”
“Once you’re at that position of power, all you need to do is take down the people whose power over Vaelyn rivals yours. Then voila! You have control over all Vaelyn. You could start wars with the other countries and take them for your own!”
La-Iin could almost see herself as ruler of Vaelyn, discarding papers from her desk and flying out a window to lead troops into battle. It was an intriguing idea, but La-Iin shook her head.
“There are some glaring flaws with that plan, Bes-Isa.”
“What!?”
“First off, I don’t have the patience to wait for stupid people to make me leader of Vaelyn. I would want to cheat like you said. But if they found out I cheated, it would be that much harder to try and become leader of Vaelyn again. And I also don’t know what species the people who would have power like me might be. Even if they were all Normals, they might overtake me in sheer numbers.”
“Then you have your army of friends.”
“I doubt Mama or Fer-Shi or Sale-Dessu would help me. San-Kyung maybe, but depending on when I went against them how much help he would be would vary. And anyway, the people of Vaelyn are little weaklings for the most part. Some people might boycott my war. And I don’t know how many people other countries have.” She huffed. “Besides, I think politics are stupid.”
“Ugh.”
“But in exchange for your useless suggestion, I’ll tell you a problem I have. Someday, San-Kyung and I will have children, and–”
“It still astounds me how much confidence you have in that idea.”
La-Iin glared at her. “Anyway, I’ve seen how attached he is to rival-boy. At first I thought my wiles would send him away from his side and he’d leave him behind even if he still wanted to be his friend. But now I know that’s not the case. He and rival-boy are far too attached. If I couldn’t do anything because I was gonna have a baby, he might instate rival-boy in a high place of power! I’m always higher than him, but I don’t want to get in a stupid fight that slows down our takeover of the world just because he did something stupid. And who’s to say he won’t have an affair?”
“Why…why do you care about all this?”
“I’ve put a lot of thought into this plan, Bes-Isa. If he had an affair, I’d–I’d cut off his genitals!”
“…ouch.”
“I don’t care.”
“How are you going to get more babies, then?”
La-Iin blinked. “He doesn’t need his genitals to make babies.”
“For some reason, I thought you knew how this worked already. But then again, you ARE seven. So what you know already is pretty astounding…”
“What are you talking about?”
“Nothing. Anyway, I have another plan.”
“Yes?”
“Perhaps instead of being blatantly evil, you should put on a good act so that people will trust you. They trust you, then you turn against them once you have their approval. Use them to help you conquer the world, in the process of telling them that what they are doing is for the better good. Vaelyn has a higher good count than it does evil, doesn’t it?”
“I think Mama said there are mostly neutrals. But evil is always in rare supply…besides, there’s holes with that plan too, and not just that I’d never be able to keep up a good act.”
“Are you SURE that isn’t the only hole?”
“Yes. Ai-Reia doesn’t trust me at all. If I put on a good act, she’d turn people against me and she’d never believe me even if she didn’t. She’s a problem I have too. She’ll try as hard as she can to keep me from ruling the world. It’s a shame because I really thought she was going to be a great ally. But I have Sale-Dessu for that now.”
“Are you sure about that? You always made it sound like they would serve vastly different roles.”
“They would, but they are–or would be–allies all the same. Do you have anything else? Your plans are bad, Bes-Isa! You’d fail at ruling the world automatically!”
“Hey, you shut up! I’m evil in a different way than you are. My ambitions are lower because I’m trying to be realistic. Too many evil people were affected by the conquering ambitions of the early evil people and the evil people in fiction. I think you’re one of them!”
La-Iin gasped. “How could you say that!? So you think I should waste my thousand years on doing petty deeds!? No! The one good thing about all these years I have is that it gives me plenty of time to try–and once I succeed, plenty of time to rule!”
“Yes, but what does it matter? The world was rebuilt after the World Wars. Things have gone back to normal. A hundred-some-odd year rule would probably be fixed up by the goody-goodies of the future world as well, once you dropped dead.”
“My children will rule in my stead.”
“Assuming they don’t end up goody-goodies themselves.”
“Shut up! What’s wrong with having high ambitions anyway!? If you and I were goody-goodies and I wanted to be just like Usl-Thaehey, would you say that’s out of reach and I should be more realistic!?”
“There’s nothing wrong with having high ambitions. The only people who usually say such things are ironically goody-goodies. I’m just saying, becoming a singer-idol-model whatever thing that Usl-Thaehey is has GOT to be easier than ruling an entire planet, and that’s your goal, isn’t it? Not just to rule Vaelyn?”
“Yes, that is my goal. And I am being realistic, you know. I know some of my allies are going to die on me and I also know that I have a thousand years to put towards the pursuit of ruling the world. If I don’t succeed in the first hundred, I’ll focus on building my family with San-Kyung instead. But I think San-Kyung wants to rule the world too. He has to be even more realistic than me, though, because he won’t live that long.” She sighed. “Unfortunately.”
“You know, while you were talking about San-Kyung’s lifespan I was thinking about something. What if you DID become like Usl-Thaehey?”
“Now you’re trying to tell me to change my dream! It won’t work, Bes-Isa! I will rule the world someday!”
“No, you don’t get it! What if you become like Usl-Thaehey, loved by many? She had a manager who was with her when she came to the house, right?”
“I think that manager guy is always with her.”
“Yeah! So what you do is, you make Sale-Dessu your manager. And he’s a powerful Warlock. He could probably brainwash the masses into being your mindless slaves. Usl-Thaehey is so popular she travels the whole world round! By the time they snapped out of the brainwash, if they ever did, there would be nothing they could do to stop you!”
“I think that’s the best idea you’ve had so far,” La-Iin said with a smirk. “But there’s still problems with it, and do you know what those are?”
“What now?”
“Sale-Dessu is so stupidly shy that he’d never go along with it, and even then he said he wouldn’t be willing to do anything evil for me. And the goody-goodies of the world aren’t all stupid. They’d probably notice what we were doing before we conquered all of the world. Not to mention the ones who wouldn’t be my fans.”
“I suppose you have a point.”
“But I’ll give you something. This last idea of yours is making me think more on Sale-Dessu’s role in my world domination plans. He will be a helpful asset if I can find the right way to make use of him, and a way to get him to be willing to do all this. I’m sure I’ll find something. Perhaps Sale-Dessu is the key I’ve been searching for to fill those holes.”
“I’m glad to have helped you come up with an idea, but I’ve got a question. What’s gonna happen to Eul-Bok?”
“As far as I’m concerned, you can have him.”

—–
The city was a cesspool of destruction–people were crammed into cages and buildings had collapsed in on themselves no matter where one looked. The streets were cracked, the smell of blood and charred buildings was overpowering, and the cries of scared young children created an ear-splitting cacophony.
Night had fallen over the streets of Bledger, and La-Iin had finished her rounds for the night and was ready to turn in, tired from the afternoon and early night spent sowing more destruction and taking care of her and San-Kyung’s baby, Chung-Ae. San-Kyung had already fallen fast asleep, and La-Iin took that chance to leave the bedroom and head for Sale-Dessu’s chambers.
“How are you, Sale-Dessu?”
“I had better days before you ruled the world,” he rasped. “But I’m managing. La-Iin, may I please see Eul-Bok again?”
“He’s down in the torture chambers with Dosa-Mina. You’ll have to wait until his punishment has been served.”
Sale-Dessu bowed his head.
“Your powers thoroughly impress me though, Sale-Dessu,” she said. “And I enjoy seeing how you’ve progressed. I know there’s not much for you to work with in this castle. You have been such a help to me when it comes to ruling the world, and I’m sure you’d be willing to help if I asked you to watch Chung-Ae as well.”
Sale-Dessu didn’t respond.
“I don’t like pardoning people, but you almost deserve it, I think,” she said with a smile. “So if you keep up the good work, you’ll get good things coming your way. If that keeps you assisting me, I’ll do anything you ask.”
“Please return Eul-Bok to me,” he pleaded.
“Someday soon, you’ll see him again. But that day isn’t today. I will cut you this deal, however. I’ll talk with Bes-Isa tomorrow about lessening his sentence. It’s not as if he was as much of a pain to me as Dosa-Mina was, anyway.”
“Please.”
“Don’t beg so much. I don’t like begging.” She waved. “Well, be seeing you, Sale-Dessu. Keep up the good work.”
“…I will.” La-Iin barely caught his quiet voice over the squeak of the door as she shut it tight.

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