The La-Iin Series
“Dedicated to Music”
“Why are you still awake, Bes-Isa?” La-Iin scoffed.
“Because you left me awake. I’d be awake even if you didn’t though. I just wouldn’t be able to talk to you. I’m glad I can, though. I wanted to ask about that somber expression.”
“Morbid curiosity. Thinking on something? Sad about something? What is it?”
“If you wanna know so badly, then guess.”
“Does it have to do with Sale-Dessu? I know, I want to know about his childhood too.”
“No, it doesn’t. I was thinking about that last night, but I don’t think his childhood’s going to be all that interesting. It’s probably just something that he thinks is supposed to make me feel bad for him but won’t.” She sighed. “Before you say anything else, just let me tell you. All of your guesses are probably going to be completely wrong.”
“Somebody sounds moody. Now I’m even more curious.” La-Iin levitated Bes-Isa closer to her. “Dish.”
“I was wondering if I was outgrowing Usl-Thaehey,” La-Iin said.
Those thoughts had been running through her mind ever since she had stopped thinking about Sale-Dessu. Memories of getting into the songs in ways she didn’t recall happening recently returned to her. The day back in January that she had met the singer, a day she had considered one of the best of her life, seemed like a wistful memory now.
It worried her.
“….that’s it? You’re worrying that maybe you don’t like her songs anymore? I thought it might be a little more interesting than that.”
“I’m not apologizing to you just because you don’t like my answer. I could have lied, but I didn’t. That’s the truth. I still like her songs. But….” La-Iin wrinkled her forehead as another thought came to her.
‘If I outgrow Usl-Thaehey, could that mean I might outgrow evil too? Part of the reason I loved listening to her songs so much was because of the evil lyrics….’
“That expression seems more concerned than outgrowing a singer warrants, I think,” Bes-Isa said.
“Maybe it’s a lot more serious than outgrowing Usl-Thaehey,” La-Iin said. “I liked her songs a lot because of the tunes, but I also liked them a lot because of the lyrics since they were so evil. What if I outgrow Usl-Thaehey and start outgrowing evil too?”
“Okay, that’s dumb. And I feel like we’ve had this conversation before. Geez, La-Iin, it’s not really like you to worry about those sorts of things. And again, that thought is dumb.”
“Knowing you, something like that would never happen. Maybe her music just isn’t your style anymore. Tastes change, you know, and I’m sure somewhere out there there’s someone extremely evil who loves cheerful pop songs and someone who’s such a goody-goody it’s sickening who loves something like, I dunno….’F@&%ing Skyline Angel. I mean that would be stupid. But I bet it’s possible. Lots of dumb things are possible.”
“Like Narwhaltae-APs,” she said.
“Yes. Like them.”
“But I used to really like her music. It doesn’t make sense. Just at the beginning of this year I was all excited because I got to meet her!”
“Look, either you still like her music and you’re worrying too much about it, or you’re completely right. Either way I can’t tell you the answer because if I get it wrong I know you’ll throw me out the window….or maybe do worse now that I’ve said that.”
La-Iin glared again. “Don’t provoke me.”
“I wo….I’ll try not to.”
La-Iin kept her glare affixed to her face as she rested her head on her table. She felt bored and confused. Repeated thoughts and memories swirled around in her mind.
“What do you want now, Bes-Isa?”
“I have the simplest solution for you. Why not try listening to one of her songs? See if you still like it. Whether you do or don’t, you should have an answer. How come you didn’t think of this one yourself?”
“Because where would I find one of her songs to listen to? I don’t own any of her CDs because Mama won’t let me get any, and there’s no guarantee the radio will magically be doing a marathon of her songs again.”
“That woman’s computer. She took the furball on a walk, didn’t she? I know she could come back at any time, but with her being gone right now, she won’t be able to catch you before you start the song.”
“Hm…” La-Iin stood up and walked out her bedroom, Bes-Isa in tow. “Does this mean you thought it was a good idea, or are you going to toss me down the staircase or something?”
“You act like I abuse you all the time.”
“I may be a doll but I’m sensitive to pain.”
La-Iin opened the door to Mit-Sun’s room and walked inside. She went straight to her mother’s computer. Her computer was up on a blank page. La-Iin typed Usl-Thaehey’s name into a search engine, and automatically many video results came up.
“If there’s any way to know, it’s with this song.” La-Iin clicked on a link to the music video of Sweet Inevitable Death.
I enjoy so many things in life
I love to watch the sun rise
And watch it set at the end of the day
It reminds me that I will someday die
Oh, all of the things I love in life
Will someday be lost to me because
I will die, and that is a fate that
No matter what I do, I cannot avoid
I love to take walks down nature trails,
I love to see the animals playing together
In their natural habitats
And when I see them, ‘they will someday be dead’
Crosses my mind
Oh, for every single living thing,
everything that we’re doing
Is pointless, because in the end
We are all going to be dead someday
‘Heartless creature, how are you not sad?’
‘Does death make you happy?’
‘Selfish person, depressing others’
Invading thoughts–‘Stop making it sensational’
‘Don’t encourage others to die early’
‘You are a reprehensible person’
‘Does it make you happy to know you’ll die’
Oh, say whatever you like, I won’t be swayed by your negativity
We can enjoy whatever we like in this life
We can try to be the best person we can be
But in the end, everything is for naught
We aren’t going to live forever
And I would never want that
I love my sweet inevitable death
“So? How do you feel?”
La-Iin broke out into smiles. “For once I think you were right about me being stupid.”
The song sent a strong emotion through her that she couldn’t quite describe. She felt compelled to play the song again.
“I really need an Usl-Thaehey CD. This wouldn’t have happened at all if I had one.”
“You’ll need to find a way to snag one some day. You’ve been spending a decent amount of time with San-Kyung and Dosa-Mina lately. Maybe you can get one if you–“
A foot slammed against the floor. La-Iin turned to her left. Mit-Sun was standing at the entrance to her room, Choungetsu next to her and looking as happy as ever.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“Shall we fly?” Bes-Isa asked.
“No. I actually feel like getting in trouble.”
La-Iin bared her fangs and beckoned Mit-Sun closer. Mit-Sun glared at her.